The Sublime Roundabout

This traditional Christmas Carol has got me thinking this year. My grandfather loves this one, and I have really started to think about it's message to me. This world is big. It's a scary place. People are killing each other. People are polluting the world. People are keeping other people in ignorance. And it's all so big - it happens all the time and almost constantly. Why? Why would God, our Heavenly Father, allow this kind of thing to happen? Surely it is within His power to do all things. Surely if He wanted, He could send His legions of angels who are ready to come down and thrash the earth. Then again, maybe he already has... All I really know is I struggle. I keep struggling. I will write more about struggling later. And often. It's a theme with which I have become very familiar. But I find that in the struggle I sometimes am able to win a little bit. That I am refined in the process. I am not the same man I was before - I am better, more kind, more patient, more

I don't know why people feel obligated to write Christmas letters. We are all pretty much in touch with each other through blogs and Facebook and email anyway, right? Maybe it's just another ploy to prop up a broken postal system. Regardless of the reason, here we are. I finished my first year with the City of Mont Belvieu on October 1. Yes, I am a Texan, now. My neighbor told me that since I have been through a hurricane - the EYE, no less - I was fast-tracked in. Yee -HAW! I love Texas. It's a very much come as you are state. I really appreciate that fact. What else about me? I turned 34 on October 29. Yep. Old man territory. I am the 2 nd counselor in the ward bishopric (which still blows me away - I mean, really... ME?!?) and I really like the chance to learn from Bishop Carraway and Bro. Gage and everyone else in the bishopric and ward. We really have a great ward - one of the best I have been in. That is due in no small part to our bishop - great man that he is. I

Do you think there's such thing as pure altruism? Has there ever been a completely selfless act? What motivates people to do the things they do? On Wednesday, I was at the post office and noticed someone had dropped a significant number of stamps. The number of stamps is germane to the question at hand, because I wonder if I would have felt as strongly about this if there were only two or three. Regardless, it was enough that I was concerned and compelled into action. I stopped and picked up the stamps. It ended up being 4 books of 20 forever stamps (see pic above). That's about $35 or so. So not an insignificant investment. So I waited in line to turn them back over to the harried and busy postal employee, thinking I was doing my part to save the world. But a couple of thoughts occurred to me that make me question my motivation for doing this act: what if no one claimed the stamps? What if they thought they were gone forever? What if the postal employee put them back into th

I am a little concerned about my sister this morning. She underwent surgery yesterday to remove a growth from one of her kidneys. No one is 100% sure what the growth is or what it means at this point. So it's the not-knowing that is making me nervous. My sister is one of my heroes. She always has been - so talented, intelligent. She and I would talk for a long time when we were younger. She would give me advice on how to treat girls I was interested in, on how to handle our mercurial band director, and basically good advice on how to navigate teenage years in general. She was wise and she helped me become who I am. She has lead a rocky life. I will not get into all of the details of her various conditions, but suffice it to say that she has been at death's door several times and has only persisted due to our Father's blessing and her own sheer grit. She's tough as nails. She has been through the valley of the shadow of death and has come through again. I am confident sh

I like to read. I inhale books. When I read books, I am in the story like watching a movie, but it's real in ways that no movie could ever be. I struggle with heroes across barren wastelands and heaving seas. I fight dragons and Nazis and fires. I win women and have children, earn awards and degrees. I visit different planets and worlds and eras, swimming alongside single-celled organisms and whales and icthyosaurs , flying with seed pods as they scuttle across the sky, boiling in the fiery caverns of volcanoes... I have baked pastries, escaped gangsters, fought lawsuits, travelled to the furthest reaches of Rio Negro in the Amazon, rocketed to the moon, and been present at the very beginning and end of the universe itself. I have struggled against crushing poverty and ignorance, felt the lash of the taskmaster's whip, experienced the crushing lack of humanity in a Russian GULAG camp, stoked the fires at Auschwitz. I have felt my soul expand mightily with the great philosophers

In ancient Greece, people were given the right to participate in their government in a very direct way. They had kings, but these kings were elected. All major decisions were made by election. People would meet in the agora and discuss and debate various and sundry issues and the final resolution would be determined by the casting of stones - white if you were in favor, black if you were not. Majority rules. Now we have a representative system of government. Elected officials exercise authority and power to make decisions and legislate new laws. They are advised by professional bureaucrats (like myself) and use that advice to pass laws and approve new regulations. Thus, these elected officials become very powerful. But the great thing about the process is that those elected are ultimately responsible to their constituents. And the power may also rely in the people who show up and participate. If there is no one who participates, there may be no way for the elected to know what the min

This is Dr. Forster. I had a beginning statistics class from Dr. Forster and he was clever, helpful, and fair. He was killed this past Friday while hiking in Zion National Park. Dr. Forster will be missed - he was a great force for good and sustainability, not only at the U but in the lives of people he taught and inspired. Life is very short. Dr. Forster I am sure could have looked forward to many more years of productive life, reaching out to people and influencing the world in positive ways. But now he is gone. And the world is a little darker today. So what? What is the purpose of a life anyway? Why are we here on this cold, impersonal world? We are here for only a few short years and then we're gone... 30,000 days... I hope that the time I am allotted is as productive and meaningful as Dr. Forster's was. He left a legacy in my life.

Thanksgiving is here, and aside from the turkey (provided free from my employer) I have much to be grateful for. Here's a brief list of some of the things I can think of... 1. Family. By family I mean those who live with me in my house and those who are far away. My wife, who loves me in spite of myself. My children, who are so happy and loving and wonderful. My parents, who give of themselves to get me where I am and where I need to be. My brothers and sisters, who have become wonderful men and women of faith. Aunts, Uncles, cousins, nieces , nephews, grandparents - I have been blessed and I am grateful. It's a privilege to be associated with you in any way, and I hope I am worthy of you. 2. Friends. Some friends are like stars in the sky, distant yet constant. Some are like shooting stars, brief yet majestic. Some are like a campfire, warm and inviting. Some are like a rock, steadfast and immovable. All leave impressions on me and have shaped me into who I am now. 3. Health.

If you would have asked me what I wanted to be when I was a senior in HS I would have said an OB/ GYN . Some parts of the job are less appealing, but the idea of helping women bring children into the world is infinitely interesting. The Lord had other plans for me, and they caught up to me despite my best efforts (not unlike Jonah...) In signing up for the military, I wanted to be trained as a hospital corpsman. These are the rough equivalent to the combat medic of the Army. My thinking was that it would be good experience for my eventual medical training. There were no positions for this job available when I signed up in the Construction Battalion (the SeaBees - Hoo -rah!). This decision put into effect a course of action that has led me to where I am today. In the SeaBees , I was introduced to the world of construction and design. I have grown up in a home where I was constantly in contact with construction - my father, grandfather, and even great-grandfather were plumbers and work

First off, let me state in the name of full disclosure that I personally feel that one's personal level of spirituality has little to do with their activity level in an organized religion. It is the quiet inner peace that is sought after, which is most often found while one is alone and meditating. Having said that, I feel that there is a definite connection between people, culture, civilization, and religion that is desirable and even necessary. Historically, religion consisted of certain rites, rituals, celebrations, ceremonies, and stories that were designed to instill a sense of awe and reverence, teach young people relative to cultural norms and traditions, and to appease the Higher Power. It was assumed that, for whatever reason people could influence this Higher Power to intervene on their behalf in an effort to ameliorate unfavorable conditions. As people's minds were free to meditate on the great mysteries, increasingly elaborate and intricate models were utilized to

I can envision a world where there is no money. Really, it's not that far away... When was the last time you actually used cash? And really, the bank notes that we call cash has only the value assigned to it based on a psychological measure that is at times very arbitrary... I get paid via direct deposit and never see my money. It's given and used electronically. The only time I actually even write a check is to pay tithing or pay random people (piano lessons, for example). Other than that, it's all debit card and direct deposit. Money is a surreal thing, an electronic transfer... What capitalists fail to recognize is that it is not the accumulation of wealth that perpetuates our society - it's the distribution and flow of wealth. Thus, having more people with greater amounts of discretionary income allows for a stronger base for the economy - more people buying more, creating jobs and demand for goods. One person with all the money can only buy so much before it become

I appreciate people who think. I appreciate more people who can think for themselves. I respect people who can dream. I revere people who can take those dreams and put them into action - making the world a better place. I am not sure why, but I keep getting little ads on the right side of my screen from people who want me to download something from Ayn Rand. I find it amusing because I am morally repulsed by Ayn Rand and everything she stands for. I find her views repugnant in the extreme. And yet, there the ads are, like a constant thorn in my side. The kind of extreme capitalism that Ayn Rand and her followers promote results in the very worst kind of humanity imaginable. This kind of narcissistic objectivism allows for only the promotion of one's own self interest and views others not as people but as tools. This is the same kind of thinking that led Hitler and his regime to come to view Jews as expendable. Rationally, people who are unproductive and unuseful are a drain on th

1. I love these candies. I know they are gross. I know that they are rotting my teeth out of my head. But I like them so much... I am not addicted - I only have one or two per day. And I don't know why I like them, but I do... 2. I do water aerobics every Tuesday and Thursday evening after work. Ammon and I go work out with the ladies at the pool. And you know what? I like it. I do! So many times I have been to the gym or whatever and I feel like I am part of some kind of fashion show or something. But not with these ladies. They don't care. They don't! They just think it's cool that I show up with my boy and do it. Yeah, I have no pride... But Ammon and I have fun. That's what it's all about, right?!? 3. This one might be close to an actual addiction. I love Dr. Pepper. I know it's not good for me. I know I shouldn't drink it (kidney stones, caffeine addictions and headaches, empty calories, etc). But I do. My wife won't let me have it, so if we&#

I wish I had a great deal of faith. I love the story of Peter and Christ walking on the water. Because I am weak. Because I falter. And because I ultimately must also rely on Christ. The last little while has been tough for me personally. My strength falters. I am weak and impatient. I want things done my way on my time frame. I struggle. I resist. I know in my brain that things will work out. Things always have. Things always will. Of that I mentally and intellectually have no doubt. But there are times when I take my eyes from the Lord and view the tumult and the bank account and the loan payments and everything and I start to falter. Why? Why do I allow place in my heart for the enemy of my happiness? When I trust in the Lord, I am blessed in all things. Why, then, do I falter? Why does my heart harden? Why cannot the things I know penetrate? In all this, I am grateful for an eternal companion who loves me and is patient. She is my strength and my soul and my song. I love her. She

So, we did it! Today is a great day for Americans, for citizens of the world, for freedom loving people everywhere! I am so proud to be American! Ah! I can't tell you the smallest part of what I feel. I heard a woman on the radio this morning telling her son, "You can be anything you want. Even the president of the United States." It hit me because I had dreams when I was a small child of being the president of the United States. As I grew older and more cynical, I learned what it takes to get to be able to become the president, I gave up on those dreams. I am grateful that Mr. Obama did not. When Dr. King spoke about his dream of the world where children grow up and are not judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character, he was talking about our day. Dr. King, your dream lives on!

So, today is my birthday. I am 34 today. That makes about 12410 days of my life. I can't help but think about some of the things great men have done in the course of their lives, especially those that have been tragically cut short. I know it's not fair to compare my life with theirs - they were great men and had unique opportunities and challenges that they responded nobly to. I just wonder how I measure up. It's not a self-depreciation thing - it's a self-evaluation and motivation thing. Dr. King was only 39 when he was tragically killed in Memphis. He changed the world. He touched all of us whether we know it or not. Joseph Smith was 38 when he was killed in Carthage, Illinois. He founded one of the world's great religions and had a name and a fame which cannot be extinguished. He had done more than any other man for the salvation of men in the world save Jesus Christ. He translated the Book of Mormon. He restored the priesthood authority. He reintroduced temple

I am one of the luckiest men alive. I know this. I have been blessed beyond comprehension by a loving Heavenly Father and I am very grateful. Nothing I could have done or will ever do could merit the quality of life that I have. Even my struggles are turned to joys by His matchless power and mercy. Ammon played the piano yesterday in sacrament meeting - that's what the song is in the video. The fireworks are from an Astros game we attended a little while ago and were shot by Ammon (not the best, but it's his work). Also this last weekend we went to a Boy Scout camp. He's only 11 and rarely gets invited to these and this was his first chance. It was so fun! I was proud of his work on so many levels that I am busting! What a great son he is - what a privilege to be his dad. Also, yesterday I had the chance to participate in a Stake Disciplinary Council. This was my first time experiencing this kind of thing. I had known that they existed (of course) and generally what ha

What is a friend? Last night I had a discussion about people with Brett. Brett and Marnie Talbot have been staying with us for a little while. He's a great guy and has a lot of really good insights into things. I mentioned to him that I think there are some people who you will not ever be able to like. I don't know why that is the case, but I have noticed that it is true. Most people in my life I am able to get along with in some fashion or another, and achieve at least a passable working level of respect. But some people, and they are very few, are just completely despicable . They are the complete opposite of anything and everything that I hold near and dear. On the other hand, I mentioned, there are some people who are your friends forever. Across the reaches of space and time, these friends know you and love you. And even after not having any acquaintance for YEARS sometimes, the thought of them is like a warm embrace. One of the joys of the Internet is to be able to "

One of the most fun parts of being in the bishopric (thus far) has been the people I have been able to meet with to extend callings to. There are some incredibly faithful people in our ward, and it is truly an honor to be able to serve with these people. Sure, people struggle. I struggle. But there is a power that comes from seeing people struggle and overcome their own trials and become cleansed and stronger as a result. It's inspiring. It's also inspiring to see people serve in so many ways in the Church and Kingdom. Maybe someone wants a particular calling or doesn't want another calling. But when they are called to something unexpected and less desirable and still willingly fulfill their responsibility, it is then that the blessings of God are manifest in their lives. Brother Robertson, our ward mission leader and all-around good guy was talking about this with me last night after choir practice. He felt like I did when I was called to the bishopric when he was called t

This one makes me mad. This is my sweets. She's six. First grade and all that. She thinks she's 18. Or maybe 21. Or 30.... She really wants to be involved, and she's really smart. I am very proud of her. Yesterday in the evening we gathered around the radio to listen to the presidential debate. She noted my reactions to some of the comments and perceived that I was leaning toward Obama. After chiding me for my disparaging remarks about McCain, she asked if I was going to vote for Obama. I said yes, I probably am (I know that comes as a bif shock to all of you). She said, "Dad! You can't vote for him! He put a circle around the flag (?) and he didn't put his hand on his heart when he says the pledge of allegiance!" I said that I had heard that too, but where did she hear it? Yep, you guessed it - her school teacher. She was so mad and frustrated that she stormed off to her room in tears. Well, I calmed her down and told her that the great part about livi

President Monson is incredible. I am so grateful to be alive on the earth when there is a prophet to lead us and guide us. I know that he is God's prophet, and I am grateful to have been able to hear his words this past weekend, as well as the other words that came from our inspired leaders. I liked President Eyring's plea for unity. It reminds me of how important it is not to be the same but to be one. There is a strength that comes through synergistic combinations of various points. We are a varied and multi-faceted organization of saints, but we are united in our purpose of opposing evil, promoting good, and loving each other. We are the same flock of children, all harkening to the voice of the Shepherd. I also appreciated greatly the plea of Elder Scott in the Priesthood Session regarding the respect that we MUST have for the faithful women in our lives. As a son, brother, husband, and now father of beautiful, faithful women of integrity, I am overcome with the joy it is to

OK, that worked! Sweet! Here's another one: These were taken from my house the morning of September 13th. This was AFTER most of the storm had passed over us and I felt safe enough to head outside (or near a window) to see what I could see. This was after the scary night was over and the sun was coming out... Things to note - in video 1: the water is in my front yard and is probably 3 feet deep in my ditch (which is where the water belongs) - in video 2: the fence was leaning over probably about 30 degrees off straight up (it doesn't really come out right in the video). And I took these from my digital camera which is why they aren't very good quality... But it gives you an idea of what it was like.

I usually save my political rantings for my other blog. But this one has got me irked, and since it is more partisan in nature, I will leave my thoughts here rather than vent them in the more public forum that is my City Planner's Blog. According to the official LDS website: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is neutral in matters of party politics. The Church does not: Endorse, promote or oppose political parties, candidates or platforms. Allow its church buildings, membership lists or other resources to be used for partisan political purposes. Attempt to direct its members as to which candidate or party they should give their votes to. This policy applies whether or not a candidate for office is a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Attempt to direct or dictate to a government leader. The Church does: Encourage its members to play a role as responsible citizens in their communities, including becoming informed about issues and voting in elect

Because of continuing power shortages, our church building is still in the dark. We haven't had a chance to meet as a ward for sacrament meeting. Our stake presidency has allowed us to have a sacrament meeting at our homes. This is something I have only experienced once before - in a Michigan snowstorm that prevented us from attending regular Sunday services. We have Brett and Marnie Talbot staying with us for a while, so Brett was able to help me with the blessing of the sacrament - I did the bread and he did the water. It was so sweet to have my little family gathered together around our table to celebrate the sacrament of the Lord's supper. After the sacrament, we all took an opportunity to share our testimonies. My family makes me so happy and proud. I love them so much and I look forward to spending eternity with them. I just hope I am worthy.

So. Here it is, just a few days after my brush with hurricanes, and I am still alive. In fact, alive enough to be writing a blog that few (if any) will ever read... Ah, well. It's cathartic, right? So here's a rough synopsis of what went down: Thursday was a beautiful day: clear blue sky just a little warmer than usual. School was cancelled and is still on hold indefinitely At around noon my family left for the Woodlands to stay with our good friend Rachel Sorber and Natalie. The Woodlands is further inland, and the storm was supposed to have calmed down by that point. More on that later. I spent all evening boarding up windows. Neighbors came and helped. What a great blessing it is to have concerned and helpful neighbors. Friday was no work, but I came in anyway. There was nothing else to do. I hung around until about three and then went to Ammaron Stone's place to help him finish boarding up. We watched the news as the hurricane approached (th

In his epistle to the Galatians, Paul talks about the fruits of the Spirit. These are love, joy, peace, long suffering , gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance. So when we are under the influence of the Spirit, these attributed are more easily fostered and recognized. In my home, this kind of Spirit prevails almost without exception. It makes my home really feel like a place that I want to be, where children and parents love and respect each other, and where learning and growth can take place. It is sublime. I love to be there. Jeremiah also talks about the fire in his bones that was the word of God. This is more of how the Spirit works in my personal life. It is hard to describe, like the taste of salt. Salt is, well, salty. But there is no mistaking it when you taste it. One would never mistake salty sea water for honey, for example. But what's the point? Other than feeling good or agitated or whatever, what's the point of feeling the Spirit? For me, the real point

Contemplating my life, it seems to be a pattern of divine intervention in my behalf. From the moment I was born I have been watched over and guided in ever so slight ways to become what I am now. I know that I am not what I should be, but actually this encourages me. The anticipation of further growth is infinitely appealing. I have never felt more close to God than when I am struggling and learning. I went to boot camp. Weird, huh? I know that surprises many of you who know me. It was an interesting time in my life. I was seventeen years old, looking forward to graduation from high school. I had led an exceedingly sheltered life, and was blessed in many ways but also very ignorant in more ways. I had a lot to learn, but didn't know it. The recruiter called me up and asked what my plans were for after high school. Probably college, I said. How are you going to pay for that? he asks. I don't know. Grants, scholarships, whatever, I said. What about a mission. Are you planning to

There is much that is dark and scary and outright evil in this world. I know that. I know that constant vigilance is required to combat the overwhelming tide that threatens our families. But in the midst of all of this, there is also much that is very, very good about this world. In my life, one of these things is the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It is an honor to be a member of such a wonderful organization. Last weekend, we were threatened with a large tropical storm. It turns out that it missed us almost completely, but it was nervous for a couple of days. On Sunday, I attended bishopric meeting where preparations were discussed should the worst happen and evacuation become required. Specific families were discussed and people's needs were assessed. Everyone who could possibly need attention was reviewed. Plans were made for the care of these individuals and families, involving home teachers, quorum leaders, and Relief Society sisters, all of whom would rally to

I love people. I love to watch people. I love to be amongst people. I love to hear people and smell people and taste people and feel people. People have an aura that is palpable for me - some are gray and some are bright vivid and colorful. One of the things I like most in life is to converse. The honest and open sharing of ideas has infinite appeal for me, and I love it when my ideas are challenged by someone (anyone) who is serious and well-intentioned. But I think that the level of our conversations has diminished. Text messaging is not conversing. Email has not yet risen to the level of a well-crafted letter. And instant messaging is a little better, because it's, well, instant. But it's not the same as a warm, human interaction that can only take place when there's a real human conversing face to face. Letter writing used to be OK because it was slow. It was physical. It was a real thing - you could imagine your loved one's hand as it moved across the page. The ar

So, there I was, minding my own business, getting ready for bed Saturday evening when the phone rang. Unsuspectingly, I answered it. Could I bring my wife to an interview with the Stake President tomorrow (last Sunday)? Um, she's in a meeting until Church starts, I say. No, this is important. Pull her out of the meeting. OK. No sleep Saturday night. Sunday morning - a walking ball of nerves. Trying to be extra nice to everyone to make up for all of those times I snapped and yelled and poked and cajoled, hoping that it would be enough. It wasn't. Still nervous. Get to church. Trying to fend off questions from my kids about why I have to meet with the Stake President. I don't know. I honestly have no idea. Releases are usually handled by the High Council. Callings for the Elder's Quorum are also usually handled by a High Council member or a member of the Stake presidency. Not the man himself... Not good. Sitting in with the Stake President. Ah, those last few innocent mo

My parents have always been heroes of mine. Not heroes in the "really good person" sense, but REAL super heroes, like Superman and Wonderwoman . Or Green Lantern and She- ra . Or Mork and Mindy. Take your pick. Try to imagine my surprise and disillusionment when I discovered that my parents were people. Complete shock and amazement. They were people who are subject to all of the frailties of human existence , including sickness, depression, bad moods, cuts, scrapes, bruises, bad days, problems with others, mental derangement, rabies, bullets, and temptations. About the only thing my parents are truly invulnerable to, ironically, Krypton (and other noble gasses...:-) ). So my parents have had to slog through this mess just like I am. When I was fairly immature, I resented my parents for this. How dare they be fallible ? How could they even think of not being absolutely perfect in every way, not having all the answers, of being mean-spirited at times. It seemed unforgivable