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I wonder as I wander...


This traditional Christmas Carol has got me thinking this year. My grandfather loves this one, and I have really started to think about it's message to me.


This world is big. It's a scary place. People are killing each other. People are polluting the world. People are keeping other people in ignorance. And it's all so big - it happens all the time and almost constantly. Why?


Why would God, our Heavenly Father, allow this kind of thing to happen? Surely it is within His power to do all things. Surely if He wanted, He could send His legions of angels who are ready to come down and thrash the earth.


Then again, maybe he already has...


All I really know is I struggle. I keep struggling. I will write more about struggling later. And often. It's a theme with which I have become very familiar.


But I find that in the struggle I sometimes am able to win a little bit. That I am refined in the process. I am not the same man I was before - I am better, more kind, more patient, more humble, and closer to God. Remember that He was born in a manger (geesh!) and spent his time not among kings and rulers but among fishermen, lepers, tax collectors, and prostitutes (the whole need no physician, right?). What kind of person do I want to be, anyway? Do I want to be comfortable, told I am right all the time, coddled and dispassionate? Or do I want to be the kind of person Christ was? He commanded us to be like Him, remember?


I wonder how He came to die for me. I am such a struggler! AH! My heart breaks to think of the foibles and weakness that seem to surround me... Why? Why would He descend from His throne divine to rescue a soul so rebellious and proud as mine?


When I think of the marvellous work and wonder that is taking place in these latter-days, I am consistently reminded that WE (I) are the work and glory of God. This marvellous work and wonder takes place within my heart, changing me from being proud and weak to humble and strong. So struggle I will. And I will win, for the Lord is on my side.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Sometimes I think you know as much about my dad as I do.

Sometimes I think you are one of the finest people I know. Actually, I think this often. I miss you guys so much, it makes me ache.

In your wondering and wandering, remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God, and you are one of those great and noble ones, saved for this day, these latter days. Your purpose is great and your strength is mighty. You will influence many through your humility and goodness. You already do influence me for good all the time.

I love you.

Ruth
January 3, 2009 at 4:05 PM
Shelly Hanson said…
I hope you don't mind, I'd like to put you on my list of blog. You write well. I enjoy it.
January 3, 2009 at 7:14 PM
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