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Engaged

Three Dog Night got it wrong. 
One is not the loneliest number.
They were more accurate when they said
Two can be as bad as one. 

I really wonder how people can survive
Without being fully engaged.
How they live through each day
Without the intimacy I so very much crave...
Maybe I am unusual in my desire 
To have this intimacy,
To want to feel that soul
So close to my own
Sharing light and warmth,
Sharing love and passion,
Sharing life.

Alas! Alas! Alas!
For when I do seek to share
It is often only to be rebuffed
Denied
Or used up,
Sucked dry,
And left an empty husk. 

I want SO MUCH to share
And all I have is the cold, digital world
Of typing out a blog.

Comments

lillysmum said…
I don't think many people want that intimacy. It's a lot of work. It's hard and can be heartbreaking. And, I think there are people who don't even know that kind of intimacy exists.
There are three kinds of people, really. There's the ones you meet and you know immediately that they are of the race that knows Joseph and the intimacy with them isn't really hard. It just happens, your souls recognize one another. Then there are people who you meet and kind of like, spend time with, and slowly, carefully push the intimacy with and it eventually clicks. And there are people who just...aren't. Whether that intimacy is simply not available between the two of you, or they are not capable or they are afraid or just disinterested, it won't happen, no matter how hard you try.
I crave intimacy, but it is very rare.
Bill Cobabe said…
Not sure who Joseph is but I've known several and they were good guys. I even had a grandpa Joe, and I have known two guys named Joseph Smith.... ;)

(Must have been a typo, else I'm not getting the reference)

I'd say the lion share of folks I've met are of the third type, which is very disheartening. Literally. As in, it removes the very heart from me.

I sometimes wonder if I don't just expect too much of people. If anyone really wants it at all... Maybe that's it. :/
lillysmum said…
The race that knows Joseph means people who know the things you know. Your tribe. As in, after Joseph of Egypt died there were fewer and fewer people who had known him, or remembered him.
And yes, I think the lion's share are the third type. And, it IS disheartening, but there are type one and two and sometimes you find them.
Bill Cobabe said…
Yep. Didn't get the reference. I am sorry for being silly. That's a very lovely thought, and one I'd not heard or considered before. Thank you. Once again, I am in your debt.

And I think I am of that race or tribe.

You make me weep. And think. And feel. Thank you.
Bill Cobabe said…
“You’re young and I’m old, but our souls are about the same age, I reckon. We both belong to the race that knows Joseph, as Cornelia Bryant would say,” said Captain Jim.

“The race that knows Joseph?” puzzled Anne.

“Yes. Cornelia divides all the folks in the world into two kinds– the race that knows Joseph and the race that don’t. If a person sorter sees eye to eye with you, and has pretty much the same ideas about things, and the same taste in jokes–why, then he belongs to the race that knows Joseph.”

“Oh, I understand,” exclaimed Anne, light breaking in upon her. “It’s what I used to call–and still call in quotation marks `kindred spirits.'”

“Jest so–jest so,” agreed Captain Jim. “We’re it, whatever it is. When you come in tonight, Mistress Blythe, I says to myself, says I, `Yes, she’s of the race that knows Joseph.’ And mighty glad I was, for if it wasn’t so we couldn’t have had any real satisfaction in each other’s company. The race that knows Joseph is the salt of the earth, I reckon.”
lillysmum said…
Yes, you are of the race that knows Joseph.
That's a good book. ;)
Bill Cobabe said…
I have never read it, and so may be forgiven for not knowing the reference.
Bill Cobabe said…
Well, I can't know everything. That's why I'm glad you're around. You give me a lot. And I am very grateful.
lillysmum said…
I'm around to know everything? Yeah, that's probably true.
Anne of Green Gables is worth the read, btw. But, the Emily books by the same author are even better.
Bill Cobabe said…
No, I know you don't know everything. Just, a lot, and different things from what I know. And I think that's awesome. Also, I find your insights valuable and interesting, mostly because they are different. It's refreshing and delightful, and again, I am very grateful.
lillysmum said…
Yes, that's why I like to read your blog. Your insights are different. A different perspective is valuable, especially when it is from a friend.

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