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You're so vein...

My sister is back in the ER this morning. I got a text late last night from my sister Shellie (thanks, Shellie!) saying that she was in the ER and getting some help. They were able to find a vein in her left ring finger. Finding a vein that they can use on my poor sister's battered body is a difficult proposition at best, so the fact that they could find one they could use so easily and get it in on the first try is a small miracle. And she'll take all the miracles she can get at this point...

I am often struck by the inequities in life. Some of us bring on our own consequences of our actions, while others of us are forced to endure things that are incomprehensible and so very unfair. We have the best of intentions, but things often go awry. I am not sure why that is, but it can be frustrating and disheartening.

Perhaps in all of our feeling picked on and lonely and hurt, we should remember the One who went through all of this, through no fault of His own, and took it upon Himself willingly. Perhaps we get a small inkling of what He went through. And perhaps that will temper our responses to perceived injustices we must endure. And perhaps that will further temper our responses to others' suffering. And perhaps we'll learn what it is we're supposed to be learning from this life, after all. When we pray for strength, the Lord gives us weights and tells us to hit the gym....

One of my favorite scriptures - and we just re-read it again this morning in our family scripture study - is in 2nd Nephi chapter 2. Lehi is explaining some of the more difficult doctrines of the gospel to his son Jacob, doctrines that people around the world struggle with. Chief among these concerns deals with these inequities. How can it be right that so many have to suffer so much? How can it be right that even one must suffer for things that that person did not even do? How is that fair? The verse says - All things have been done in the wisdom of Him who knoweth all things. This gives me hope and builds my faith in Him. There is a God in Heaven who loves ME and is aware of things that I need. He is powerful, merciful, and kind. Moreover, He is aware of my particular needs, concerns, wants, and desires. He will grant me all of my righteous desires if I am - in turn - faithful and righteous.

As I wrote yesterday, I don't know everything. Some of the things I thought I knew once are not so sure any more. I am left alone without much to hold on to, and I find myself relying ever more fully on the merits of Him who is mighty to save. And you know what? Maybe that's what the purpose of life is, anyway.... If I can learn to completely give myself to Him, as my sister gives herself over to the medical professionals who want to heal her, maybe I can be healed of my weakness as well.

I dearly hope so.

I want to tell you again how much I love you. I wish I could put into words my gratitude and love for you. I am at a complete loss to do so, and I can just hope you feel in my words the depth of feeling I have for you. I love you so very, very much. My heart is full, and I am gaining strength. That strength comes from you and your love, as well as from the Savior and His.

God is good. All things have been done in His wisdom and for our ultimate benefit. I believe that with all my heart.

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