Skip to main content

Van Gogh



I'm tired, y'all.

I'm tired of being told that my emotions are a "handicap." They're not.

I'm tired of being asked if I feel lonely and tragically misunderstood. I do feel that way at times, but not always.

I'm tired of being asked if I will commit suicide. I won't. Ever. It's just not something I would do or even entertain.

I'm tired of being asked if I am depressed. I'm not. My life is very good and fulfilling.

I'm tired of being treated like there's something wrong with me. There isn't.

I'm tired of being shackled to someone who cannot understand me.

I'm tired of that same person being unwilling even to try.

I'm tired of having my emotions discounted because I'm overreacting or overly emotional.

But most of all, I'm tired of wanting to share these feelings and emotions, only to have them rebuffed. Even - especially (!) - when these emotions are glorious, spiritual inklings that fill my soul with light and life and joy.

I will carry on, and I will persevere.

I'm just tired. That's all.

Comments

lillysmum said…
I understand the tired. But, you are loved. So, there's that. :)
November 19, 2014 at 12:32 PM
Bill Cobabe said…
Indeed. Thank you for the reminder.
November 19, 2014 at 12:49 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Is this thing still on?

 Does anyone even blog anymore? I remember when it first got started and everyone was having a blog. I like writing, and I do a lot of it in my professional life, but not everything makes it onto this blog, which is where a lot of my personal thoughts come out. I put more into Facebook lately, too, because it's a little easier. But there's something to be said for this long-form writing exercise, and I think I will continue here periodically. You don't mind, do you? Well, in my last post I wrote about how difficult things were for me at the time. That changed in July when I finally got a job working for the State of Utah. I was the program manager for the moderate income housing database program, and that meant I worked from home a lot but also went in to Salt Lake when needed, mostly on the train. It was a good experience, for the most part, and I'm grateful for the things I learned even in the short time I was there.  In October I started working for Weber County in t...
1 comment
Read more

The Other Art

I'm not sure we appreciate photography as much as we do other art forms. Part of this comes from the reality that surrounds and permeates a photograph - it's very, very real, and the photographer strives for clarity and crispness in the representations. Perhaps this is why black and white images continue to be relevant - they strip away extraneous information (color) and leave us with something that is at once familiar and also non-existent - for nothing exists in black and white. Nothing. I also think that pictures are becoming too common-place... Everyone has a camera in their pocket, and while that's a very democratic thing (everyone can express themselves in a picture easily and readily, and can find an audience for these images, which are casually taken and casually viewed, and perhaps just as casually forgotten) I think that we embrace that casual attitude, and it spills over to all aspects of the media, making it impotent. So I read this article this morning: h...
Post a Comment
Read more

A Romantic Encounter

Him (tears in his eyes, heartbroken): I want you to know that I love you, that I'm sorry for my weakness and frailties, and that I will try and do better. I think I am doing better than I was before, and I just want to please you and make you happy. I am very grateful for your continued patience as I try to be the kind of man I want to be. Her: You need a haircut. It's getting a little long.
15 comments
Read more