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The light within...


One of the first experiences I had with the Lord came when I was 14 years old. We were at youth conference out in the mountains in central Utah. Towards the end of the youth conference we were given a small packet of things to do and sent out on our own. I found a place that warm and sunshiny and away from other people. I completed all of the things we were given to do and then sat there enjoying my time and thoughts. Then I went back to the rally point.

On the way back, I noticed that no one else had returned. Not wanting to seem like I had not given the stuff enough time, I sat on a convenient log among some glittering aspens. I had just finished my first year of seminary and had memorized the verse in Matthew included in the sermon on the mount that goes something like - Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works and glorify your Father which is in Heaven.

As I contemplated, I realized that there were two types of people mentioned in this verse: one is the performer of good works, setting up his light for others to see, and the other is the one who observes these good works and glorifies God thereby. While I recognize that there is real value in both of these types, and that we each take turns performing and observing, I had (and still have) a real desire to be the one who does good works, one who leads and is an example of good works, one who is light and brings glory to the Father.

Unbidden and unexpected, a voice entered my mind and heart. The voice said, "My son, anything you do that is right glorifies my name."

My soul was filled with warmth and light and love and mercy. For the first time in my life, I came to know that God was mindful of me, that He loved me, and He recognized my efforts to serve and glorify Him. Thus assured, I have striven my entire life to continue in good works. I have not always been successful, but the preponderance of my life has been spent in good works and causes. For that, I am grateful.

Yesterday I got a phone call from a woman I have come to know through professional interaction. She's a very kind person and she has a great spirit and enthusiasm for life. We were speaking about something we're working on together and she mentioned how glad she was that I was able to come here to this community and help and serve in the ways I have. I said - I have been blessed to be here; this is a great community. She paused and tentatively said, "I have noticed that you are a very spiritual person. Tell me, are you active in an organized religion?" I, of course, was amazed and said yes. She then said, "I know you're from Utah. Are you a Mormon?" Again, I was impressed and said yes. She said that she didn't know much about Mormons but that she was impressed by my apparent spirituality and life. Specifically, she said that I have a light about me that she noticed and appreciated.

I am very humbled by all of this.

The glory be to the Father for His infinite mercy.

I have had several opportunities in my life to act as an ambassador of my faith. It is something that I have never been able to hide, even when I wanted to. Once I figured that out I have reordered my life to make sure that the things I did would at least not detract others in their journey and praise. And in some cases, I have had a blessed opportunity to share my most cherished beliefs and see them accepted for what they are. I struggle with my failings and imperfections, of which I am acutely aware. But I am also willing and anxious to be involved in the work of the Lord. I love Him! I want to serve Him. Oh, how my heart longs to be better, more refined, more pure... I want to perfect my life and light to be worthy of His glorious light, of which I am but a mere reflection.

May God my Heavenly Father make me worthy of this great blessing.

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