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Altruism

Do you think there's such thing as pure altruism? Has there ever been a completely selfless act?

What motivates people to do the things they do?

On Wednesday, I was at the post office and noticed someone had dropped a significant number of stamps. The number of stamps is germane to the question at hand, because I wonder if I would have felt as strongly about this if there were only two or three. Regardless, it was enough that I was concerned and compelled into action. I stopped and picked up the stamps. It ended up being 4 books of 20 forever stamps (see pic above). That's about $35 or so. So not an insignificant investment.
So I waited in line to turn them back over to the harried and busy postal employee, thinking I was doing my part to save the world. But a couple of thoughts occurred to me that make me question my motivation for doing this act: what if no one claimed the stamps? What if they thought they were gone forever? What if the postal employee put them back into the same pile as all the other stamps and sold them again? Why shouldn't I just keep them? After all, finders keepers...
Well, if you know me at ALL you know that I couldn't do that. So I turned them in. The postal employee didn't even thank me. Of course, they weren't her stamps, so no money or time was saved for her... But I was kind of expecting a little "thanks" for my honesty. Alas, her comment was "OK, someone just dropped them. I'll hold them here in case they come back to get them." Then I say, "Thanks." Like she's doing me a favor enabling my honesty.
So why did I do it? Would I have turned in the stamps just as eagerly if I had known she wouldn't have said thanks? Am I asking for praise for my honest deed in even writing this blog entry? I don't know. I would like to think that I am capable of doing something with no interest in reward, praise, or other compensation.
My son and I have an on-going discussion about motivation. It has to do with the relationships between people and service rendered. A slave does things because he is motivated by fear. A servant does things in hopes for/anticipation of a reward (he wants to get paid). A friend does things because he loves. So when I picked up those stamps, I hope I was motivated by love. I could see a mother, busy with Christmas gifts and cards and junk mail, hurrying to her car to get on to the next errand. I thought of her and picked them up. I thought of her and waited in the 20 minute line to turn them over. I thought of her and wrote this blog. And if it turns out to be an extremely wealthy business owner who dropped them and never even noticed, it makes no difference to me, because I was honest because I loved that busy mother. And that makes all the difference in the world.

Comments

B. Perky said…
You did it because of who you are. Dallin Oaks has a great talk on the hierarchy of motivation. As we grow our reasons for doing a good thing mature as well, I hope.
December 19, 2008 at 4:59 PM
Jeanette said…
remember those demons that Satan sends to tempt you? It was they, themselves, whispering in your ear to keep the stamps".

Although I also look at it as..."What would I do with the money if I won the lottery?" We all daydream from time to time.

You find a $100 bill on the ground and the whole way to return it you daydream about what you would do with it, but you never have any intentions of really keeping it. You are just fantasizing.

You return it because we are taught that if it's not ours to keep we give it back to those it truly belongs to, in the hopes that if something like this should ever happen to us, someone will be fair and do the same.

We return it because we know it's the right thing to do, but that doesn't mean we can't daydream =0)
December 19, 2008 at 6:52 PM
Anonymous said…
Once when I was working 2 jobs as a starving college student I found a wad of cash under a table I was busing. It was more than $200. Immediately I ran up to the front desk, not sure what to do. I looked around, and recognized the people who had been sitting at the table. I asked them if they were missing some money, and they looked at me blankly then searched their pockets. The person who was buying dinner realized he had no money in his pocket. I handed him his wad of cash and walked away. They didn't say anything.

How bizarre people are!

I mean, why would it occur to me to keep the money that wasn't mine? As I walked away, I thought of all the bills I could have paid with that money, and I felt like I had passed a test of some sort. I felt really happy. Nobody thanked me or said I was so honest for doing what I did, but I felt good.

I think I did it because I knew it would make me feel good. Doing good makes us feel good, and that is addictive.

So I'm not sure if there's such a thing as pure altruism, because we always get something out of doing good. There's really something to it.
December 19, 2008 at 7:25 PM
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