The following is an excerpt from a letter I wrote to Ammon on his mission. By way of background, he'd been having - or was concerned about having - some negative experiences with the bishop of the ward where he's serving. He asked for advice a couple of weeks ago, and I responded that he should love the bishop and try to find ways to serve him. He responded that it was working very well, and that he'd felt close to the bishop...
I'm glad to hear things are going well with your bishop. It's a good lesson for you to learn - it really doesn't cost you anything to be nice to people, even people who are completely despicable. In fact, those are the people who may need love the most, because by their very nature they're off-putting from everyone else. People who are hard to get along with often wear that kind of attitude like a defense - it keeps people at arm's length where they can't hurt the defensive person. They wrap themselves up in self-defense and never let down their guard to let people in. It hurts to let people in, because people are generally untrustworthy and unworthy of love, and they'll let you down. Also, it is precarious to become vulnerable like that - you almost hand other people weapons and trust that they won't use them against you. For people who like control and the comfort that comes with this false sense of security, the only real way to break through is to make the first overture yourself, and then be persistent and consistent in showing that love. Ultimately you may have varying levels of success, but the decision to show that love is yours, and it says a lot more about you and your ability to love others as Christ did/does than it says about them and their ability to receive that love.
Love is a scary thing. There are many levels of love, but I believe they all stem from the same place: if we can view people not as they currently are (with all their readily-apparent issues, concerns, and sins) but as they COULD be... My mission president asked us to try to look at people and imagine them with the "eye of faith", dressed as they would if they were attending Church or the Temple. It's a simple mental exercise, but I was surprised at the difference it made. Instead of looking at someone who was otherwise distracting, I was able to see their spirit, their soul, and a little bit of their potential. Remember, these are people - even the difficult ones - who have a divine potential and a spark of the Almighty resides within them. I believe that's what God sees when He looks at us, and it's what makes it possible for Him to love us unconditionally, in spite of our faults and issues. He knows who we really are.
Which is a reassuring and comforting thought, full of hope and glory and possibility.
I hope that, no matter what happens to you in your life and on your mission, that you will always be able to find a way to love people. Dude, life is soooo short. Your mission is 1/4 done (today!) (congratulations, BTW - I'm so proud of you!), and soon enough you'll be returning home to things that will continue to push you, to test you, and to shape you. I'm sorry to say that it never really gets easier, that it's full of incredible ups and downs, and that it's going to be a slog... But. But. (that's a pretty big butt) ;) Life is eversomuch easier if you can find it within you to love others...
There's so much more to be said. Read D&C 121:34-46 and remember that Joseph received this revelation in Liberty Jail, and he starts out pleading with the Lord to do something to relieve his suffering... What he ends up with is the Lord telling him that he needs to love everyone. What an amazing Section... What a revolutionary concept - you can change the world just by loving people. It's the most simple, the most basic commandment, and the most empowering, I believe. If we love God, and if we love His children, that will inform our decisions, it will shape our motives, and it will guide our relationships with others... And the whole world will begin to be more full of light.
No darkness in the universe can overcome that light.
I'm glad to hear things are going well with your bishop. It's a good lesson for you to learn - it really doesn't cost you anything to be nice to people, even people who are completely despicable. In fact, those are the people who may need love the most, because by their very nature they're off-putting from everyone else. People who are hard to get along with often wear that kind of attitude like a defense - it keeps people at arm's length where they can't hurt the defensive person. They wrap themselves up in self-defense and never let down their guard to let people in. It hurts to let people in, because people are generally untrustworthy and unworthy of love, and they'll let you down. Also, it is precarious to become vulnerable like that - you almost hand other people weapons and trust that they won't use them against you. For people who like control and the comfort that comes with this false sense of security, the only real way to break through is to make the first overture yourself, and then be persistent and consistent in showing that love. Ultimately you may have varying levels of success, but the decision to show that love is yours, and it says a lot more about you and your ability to love others as Christ did/does than it says about them and their ability to receive that love.
Love is a scary thing. There are many levels of love, but I believe they all stem from the same place: if we can view people not as they currently are (with all their readily-apparent issues, concerns, and sins) but as they COULD be... My mission president asked us to try to look at people and imagine them with the "eye of faith", dressed as they would if they were attending Church or the Temple. It's a simple mental exercise, but I was surprised at the difference it made. Instead of looking at someone who was otherwise distracting, I was able to see their spirit, their soul, and a little bit of their potential. Remember, these are people - even the difficult ones - who have a divine potential and a spark of the Almighty resides within them. I believe that's what God sees when He looks at us, and it's what makes it possible for Him to love us unconditionally, in spite of our faults and issues. He knows who we really are.
Which is a reassuring and comforting thought, full of hope and glory and possibility.
I hope that, no matter what happens to you in your life and on your mission, that you will always be able to find a way to love people. Dude, life is soooo short. Your mission is 1/4 done (today!) (congratulations, BTW - I'm so proud of you!), and soon enough you'll be returning home to things that will continue to push you, to test you, and to shape you. I'm sorry to say that it never really gets easier, that it's full of incredible ups and downs, and that it's going to be a slog... But. But. (that's a pretty big butt) ;) Life is eversomuch easier if you can find it within you to love others...
There's so much more to be said. Read D&C 121:34-46 and remember that Joseph received this revelation in Liberty Jail, and he starts out pleading with the Lord to do something to relieve his suffering... What he ends up with is the Lord telling him that he needs to love everyone. What an amazing Section... What a revolutionary concept - you can change the world just by loving people. It's the most simple, the most basic commandment, and the most empowering, I believe. If we love God, and if we love His children, that will inform our decisions, it will shape our motives, and it will guide our relationships with others... And the whole world will begin to be more full of light.
No darkness in the universe can overcome that light.
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