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Remembrance


My cousin passed away this last weekend. She was beautiful and had had a difficult if meaningful life (interesting how those two things go together). She'd been ill for a long time, so perhaps in some ways it's a good thing. But the sense of loss is very real, and the hole she left will probably never be adequately filled.

There are so many weird and random reverses in life. People come and go, some close, others just mere strangers in a crowd... Experiences flit across the screen of our life's stage, sometimes with us as a main actor, other times we're in a supporting role, and still others find us standing off to the side and wondering what is going on... And through it all, we look for meaning. We look for significance and import and impact, searching for a pattern through which we can make some sort of sense out of it all. Sometimes I feel like it is there, like something in the corner of my eye, but no matter how I turn my head, it feels elusive, vanishing just before I can see it or touch it.

In the immortal words of Jack Handey - I hope that life is not just some big joke, because I don't get it.

This is usually the time in the post when I write something redemptive, where I give some kind of pithy remark or assert some positive wisdom that puts a good spin on things. I'll tell you - I'm just not feeling it today. My head is whirling and my heart is heavy, and I wish I could just get off this ride for a while.

Comments

lillysmum said…
I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm sorry that there is now a hole in your life. I don't think they ever fill in. The raw edges just heal up, but the hole remains.
December 16, 2015 at 9:45 PM
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