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Resting in peace

I was deeply saddened to hear of the loss of Robin Williams. I can hardly remember a time in my life when I didn't enjoy his talents, from Mork and Mindy to Popeye, to guest appearances on the Muppet Show and Sesame Street, to more serious themes like Mrs. Doubtfire, Good Will Hunting, Good Morning Vietnam, Patch Adams, and Dead Poets Society. It is difficult to think of a more versatile, entertaining, and thought-provoking actor. He influenced many in his work. And like many artists, he had a troubled side. While we don't know all the details (details being largely irrelevant to us outsiders, anyway), we do know he struggled with substance abuse and depression most of his life.

In the same way that people who are physically well cannot relate to people who are sick, we who have not experienced depression cannot know what it's like. There's just no common frame of reference. It may be easy for us to say that suicide is beyond the pale, but it is really not for us to judge. Even were I to experience depression, I hope I would be compassionate enough with others to know that I just don't know. There's simply no way.

Suicide has touched my life in several very tragic ways. I've heard it said that it is a sin, and that the person who commits suicide is damned. Even those who should otherwise know better are sometimes caught in this trap, thinking that they know. They don't. Their judgments are harsh, rash, not compassionate, and do not acknowledge the saving grace of the atonement. They would act as the judge, with their incomplete and imperfect knowledge, and they would take this judgment away from Him whose right it is. I am grateful to a loving Heavenly Father who does know the thoughts and intents of our hearts and who will really be the only judge.

I also do not understand how people can be so flippant and callous regarding depression. I know that I do not understand depression - as I noted, I have no common frame of reference and therefore it is not my place to judge. People who are depressed do not need judgment; they need compassion. They do not need pithy, self-help quotes; they need someone to just be there for them. They do not need to be told what to do; they need someone to stand by there while they are at the darkest moments of their lives, just loving them.

What's amazing about it is that it's really what we all need - just someone to love and from whom we can receive love. Rare and precious, sustaining and fulfilling.

I hope that I can be that kind of person.

Even if I lack true knowledge through common experience, I hope that I can be compassionate and loving.

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