Nephi is so real to me. He struggles. He fights with his brothers (who want to kill him). He loses his dad. He has to run off and escape. He's a prophet and he's trying to do what he feels he should, but that gets him in trouble.
About the only thing we don't know anything about in Nephi's life is his wife and children.
But Nephi writes things on a very personal level that I can completely identify with:
His struggles in the night over his past transgressions
His struggles due to his weakness and frailties when he would rather rejoice
His temptations and sins which encompass him and destroy his peace
His ultimate faith and hope in the unfailing love of the Redeemer
His shouts to himself to not give in to his anger
His cries to the Lord to encircle him about in robes of righteousness
His trust in the Lord.
I can identify with Nephi in many of these things. I don't consider myself a violent or angry person, but I find myself with inner struggles that I probably should not have. I find myself (due to pride, most likely) finding fault with others while ignoring my own. I find myself alienating those I love because of some silly thing or other...
And I am aware of these and other imperfections in my soul that I would eradicate if I could. Yet I do not. Perhaps there is some deeper psychological issue... Or perhaps these are my cross to bear in life. As men, we are trained and conditioned to be aggressive and confident, to be strong and forthright. Yet so many times in social situations we are required to yield that aggression and there is often no appropriate outlet.
I wish I didn't struggle with these things. Yet it seems that I must struggle.
And so I will.
Perhaps it's the struggle that refines us. Perhaps it's this that will make me ultimately who I want to be.
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