This one:
http://www.npr.org/sections/codeswitch/2016/08/25/455470334/all-mixed-up-what-do-we-call-people-of-multiple-backgrounds
It's an extremely well-written and insightful article. It makes me think about my own children and what they have and will continue to experience.
When I married my wife, I honestly didn't think about what our children would experience this way. Maybe that's because I'm naive, and maybe it's because I just love their mother, and everything else was a secondary concern. And maybe because this kind of thing has become more "normal" in our society, maybe I thought it wouldn't be an issue.
But what has happened has been a little different.
My son, in particular, has mentioned that he's run into some uncomfortable situations related to the way he looks. It started when he was very young - maybe in 2nd grade - and had to confront the idea that he was different and that it wasn't always looked upon with grace. I told him at the time that if someone was acting racist and being mean that he should just reach out and punch him (it was another boy) in the stomach. Hard. I said that it's the only way they'll learn. He (to my knowledge) never actually did, but I told him that I would support him and defend him if he felt that's what he needed to do.
Several years later, he was called "noodles" by some kids at scout camp. While this is maybe a little mild compared to some of the other racial slurs I've heard, he was (by then) able to laugh it off and realize that those kids were stupid and ignorant, and their slurs revealed more about their character than anything else.
It's something that he'll have to deal with all of his life.
My daughter, on the other hand, has had fewer experiences in this regard. She's a stunningly beautiful young lady, which of course helps... Exceptional beauty, talent, and intelligence go a long way towards distracting people from her racial background. Girls are mean to her because of those reasons and less because of her racial background. But her struggles are more internal to this point. She struggles with reconciling her multiethnic and multicultural background more than the physical side of her makeup. She wants to be proud of her heritage from both parents, and sometimes finds the differences difficult to make her own. The fact that we live in a community that is very homogeneous does not help - where the blond haired and blue eyed are the most popular and attractive, it's hard to find yourself so visibly different. It's gotten better - some of that I believe is a function of her age, where pre-teens just desperately want to fit in, and she's always been exceptional. I believe it will continue to get better as she gets older as well. She's an incredibly independent and strong-willed young lady, and I am in awe of her. Truly.
So, when thinking about how to refer to my own children, I wonder why it's an issue at all. I mean, I get that it IS an issue, but why? I'm glad that the Census has started allowing people to declare their race as reflecting the complexity that exists in our world. And as divisive as it may seem, I'm also glad that they continue to take this measure, because (as I've seen with my own children) race is still important, even if I wish it were not so.
http://www.npr.org/sections/codeswitch/2016/08/25/455470334/all-mixed-up-what-do-we-call-people-of-multiple-backgrounds
It's an extremely well-written and insightful article. It makes me think about my own children and what they have and will continue to experience.
When I married my wife, I honestly didn't think about what our children would experience this way. Maybe that's because I'm naive, and maybe it's because I just love their mother, and everything else was a secondary concern. And maybe because this kind of thing has become more "normal" in our society, maybe I thought it wouldn't be an issue.
But what has happened has been a little different.
My son, in particular, has mentioned that he's run into some uncomfortable situations related to the way he looks. It started when he was very young - maybe in 2nd grade - and had to confront the idea that he was different and that it wasn't always looked upon with grace. I told him at the time that if someone was acting racist and being mean that he should just reach out and punch him (it was another boy) in the stomach. Hard. I said that it's the only way they'll learn. He (to my knowledge) never actually did, but I told him that I would support him and defend him if he felt that's what he needed to do.
Several years later, he was called "noodles" by some kids at scout camp. While this is maybe a little mild compared to some of the other racial slurs I've heard, he was (by then) able to laugh it off and realize that those kids were stupid and ignorant, and their slurs revealed more about their character than anything else.
It's something that he'll have to deal with all of his life.
My daughter, on the other hand, has had fewer experiences in this regard. She's a stunningly beautiful young lady, which of course helps... Exceptional beauty, talent, and intelligence go a long way towards distracting people from her racial background. Girls are mean to her because of those reasons and less because of her racial background. But her struggles are more internal to this point. She struggles with reconciling her multiethnic and multicultural background more than the physical side of her makeup. She wants to be proud of her heritage from both parents, and sometimes finds the differences difficult to make her own. The fact that we live in a community that is very homogeneous does not help - where the blond haired and blue eyed are the most popular and attractive, it's hard to find yourself so visibly different. It's gotten better - some of that I believe is a function of her age, where pre-teens just desperately want to fit in, and she's always been exceptional. I believe it will continue to get better as she gets older as well. She's an incredibly independent and strong-willed young lady, and I am in awe of her. Truly.
So, when thinking about how to refer to my own children, I wonder why it's an issue at all. I mean, I get that it IS an issue, but why? I'm glad that the Census has started allowing people to declare their race as reflecting the complexity that exists in our world. And as divisive as it may seem, I'm also glad that they continue to take this measure, because (as I've seen with my own children) race is still important, even if I wish it were not so.
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