We took the Young Men in our ward to the Weber County Correctional Facility last night. It was a humbling, terrifying, and incredible experience, one I won't soon forget.
My first thought was that it was a nicer facility than what I experienced in boot camp. The prisoners were generally treated better and the facilities themselves were better quality.
We entered through the booking area. There were cells of men (they were all men at that time) who were waiting for processing. The looks of utter and abject failure, disappointment, and fear were almost palpable. They sat in their holding cells, looking straight ahead or down at their shoes. For these guys, their time in jail was just beginning, and the future looked very bleak indeed.
We went next to the high-security area, holding the most violent criminals. These men (we went to the men's section first) had done all kinds of aggravated crimes, including murder, assault, and rape. They were only let out of their cells for one hour every other day, and only allowed "outside" for one hour every other week. I say "outside" like that, because their exercise yards are concrete-enclosed pens with only a small view of the sky 20' over their heads, further enclosed by a steel beam and mesh roof that let in air and light but allowed no thought of escape. Even the smallest sparrow has more freedom than these men. I think that, above all else, is what would be the most difficult for me to deal with - not being able to see the sky...
But what bothered me the most was the women. The men were fairly stereotypical criminals, whether they branded themselves that way or they felt like they had to adopt that kind of persona... But the women... They just looked like ordinary women. That may have been the hardest thing about the experience. What happened to these women? What turns had their lives taken to land them here? I'm not sure if it's sexist or not (please forgive me if it seems that way) but I think it's easier for me to envision men as criminals, rather than women. I know - that's at least terribly naive. And it's probably wrong as well to imagine that criminals look anything different. All I can say is that I was shocked. And dismayed. And hurt. Like a deep, cutting, heart-wound that shook my soul. Of course, the number of women in the jail was vastly fewer than the number of men. But... oh, I don't know. I guess I didn't feel how strongly we as a society had gone wrong until I saw these women... I hope my thoughts and feelings can come across as I type this. It's very hard for me to describe, and I don't want to sound patronizing or sexist. It's just... It's rather put me out of sorts, and I'm not sure how to process it. I mean, of course (!) there are women who are criminals. One of the women in the jail had murdered her girlfriend, stabbing her repeatedly. Clearly this kind or person is dangerous and should be confined and separated from the rest of society. But the main body of women - those who were in for drug possession or theft or other, lesser crimes... they just looked like people you'd see in the grocery store, or in the library, or at church... And it really, really bothered me. A lot. So much so that I am struggling with what to think and how to feel.
Sigh.
People make bad decisions in their lives. I have, although my poor decisions have not landed me in jail. It is interesting to think of how life could lead people - people who are otherwise generally good, honest people - to end up someplace like that. And, more importantly, what can we as a society do to help...
My first thought was that it was a nicer facility than what I experienced in boot camp. The prisoners were generally treated better and the facilities themselves were better quality.
We entered through the booking area. There were cells of men (they were all men at that time) who were waiting for processing. The looks of utter and abject failure, disappointment, and fear were almost palpable. They sat in their holding cells, looking straight ahead or down at their shoes. For these guys, their time in jail was just beginning, and the future looked very bleak indeed.
We went next to the high-security area, holding the most violent criminals. These men (we went to the men's section first) had done all kinds of aggravated crimes, including murder, assault, and rape. They were only let out of their cells for one hour every other day, and only allowed "outside" for one hour every other week. I say "outside" like that, because their exercise yards are concrete-enclosed pens with only a small view of the sky 20' over their heads, further enclosed by a steel beam and mesh roof that let in air and light but allowed no thought of escape. Even the smallest sparrow has more freedom than these men. I think that, above all else, is what would be the most difficult for me to deal with - not being able to see the sky...
But what bothered me the most was the women. The men were fairly stereotypical criminals, whether they branded themselves that way or they felt like they had to adopt that kind of persona... But the women... They just looked like ordinary women. That may have been the hardest thing about the experience. What happened to these women? What turns had their lives taken to land them here? I'm not sure if it's sexist or not (please forgive me if it seems that way) but I think it's easier for me to envision men as criminals, rather than women. I know - that's at least terribly naive. And it's probably wrong as well to imagine that criminals look anything different. All I can say is that I was shocked. And dismayed. And hurt. Like a deep, cutting, heart-wound that shook my soul. Of course, the number of women in the jail was vastly fewer than the number of men. But... oh, I don't know. I guess I didn't feel how strongly we as a society had gone wrong until I saw these women... I hope my thoughts and feelings can come across as I type this. It's very hard for me to describe, and I don't want to sound patronizing or sexist. It's just... It's rather put me out of sorts, and I'm not sure how to process it. I mean, of course (!) there are women who are criminals. One of the women in the jail had murdered her girlfriend, stabbing her repeatedly. Clearly this kind or person is dangerous and should be confined and separated from the rest of society. But the main body of women - those who were in for drug possession or theft or other, lesser crimes... they just looked like people you'd see in the grocery store, or in the library, or at church... And it really, really bothered me. A lot. So much so that I am struggling with what to think and how to feel.
Sigh.
People make bad decisions in their lives. I have, although my poor decisions have not landed me in jail. It is interesting to think of how life could lead people - people who are otherwise generally good, honest people - to end up someplace like that. And, more importantly, what can we as a society do to help...
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