Skip to main content

Independence

A little bit personal, if you don't mind.

If you do, I suppose you can always surf on over to something more interesting... Or mundane... or with better/funnier content. I am not going to apologize for who/what I am.

And that's really the thrust of this post.

Life is interesting. We are influenced by genetics. We are influenced by environment. We are at once masters of our own destiny, but we are also subject to whims and changes and input that is not of our choosing or a result of our action. Some things really are just random. Not all - not even most. But some things are just random...

What is NOT random is how I react to the various input. Regardless of what happens to me, regardless of whether it comes as a consequence of my own indiscretion or whether it is just as random as a leaf falling to the ground in a large forest, how I react to that is up to me. It may seem trite, but I find the thought very empowering.

To illustrate the idea, imagine you are walking through a snowy wooded area. There are open meadows nearby, but you've chosen to walk in the wooded area because you know that the going is easier and quicker. The trees gather much of the snow that could have fallen on the trail and leave the space where you're walking relatively clear. Walking in the meadow, you'd have had to walk through deep drifts and the journey would have been much more difficult.

But as you're walking, a large glop of heavy, wet snow suddenly falls from one of the pine boughs above you. It lands directly on you, covering you with snow and slush and finds its way in between your scarf and parka down into your neck. Short of stripping off all of your clothing to remove all of the cold wetness, you're going to experience cold trickles down your back for the next little while. If you've never experienced this, trust me - it's not very pleasant.

Did your walking cause this to happen? Did a random wind gust grab the bough at the worst possible moment? Is there a squirrel who wants revenge for all of the terrors his rodent kind have endured? Did the tree exhibit some kind of malicious intent, shaking itself at the exact wrong time?

Is there any way to know? Really?

You could have stayed home. You could have been warm and comfortable with a mug of hot chocolate. You could have walked through the meadow. You could be on a snowmobile...

But then you would have missed the sublime tranquility and peace that comes from being alone in a wintry forest. Which is why you came in the first place. For those who've never experienced this part of winter, trust me - it's truly amazing. There's something that's clean and pure and cleansing and wonderful about being in the woods in the winter. It is stark and cold, but it is tranquil and sublime.

So what? What do you do? Do you abandon your walk and go home? Do you scream and cuss and curse the random reverses of life? Do you wish to curse God and die?

Or do you laugh at the randomness of it all? Do you accept the cold trickles down your back as part of the experience? And, while not necessarily enjoying it, do you embrace the idea that you're alive - alive enough to experience the wonder of feeling that coldness at all?

Many of us live as though we are in a constant state of anticipation - waiting for whatever is coming next. I feel that these people are not truly alive - they constantly wait for the next thing to come along, missing the things that are already at the doors. Conversely, there are those who only live in the past, holding on to past acclaim and glories won. This ought not to be.

I want to live my life as though each moment is a miracle. For miracle it is, if I have eyes to see and a heart to feel. What a joy, what a thrill just to be alive! Each breath I take brings life-giving oxygen to my body. Each beat of my heart pushes the necessary nutrients around my body. Each turn of my head brings a new vista, one that has never been before and one that will never be again. Even pains my body must endure are just further signs that I am alive! And when the time comes that I breathe my last, that my heart ceases to function, and the fire in my eyes is extinguished, I hope and pray that by that time I have learned enough from life to feel that life ebbing from me. Because that will be a singular experience. You only die once, in all of eternity...

I am not anxious to die. I want to live to be 150, at least. My hope is simply that I live each and every moment of my life - from right now to the very last moment of my earthly existence - as though it WERE the last, sucking the marrow out of the moment, leaving nothing behind. Especially regrets.

In this way, I feel liberated from the reverses and troubles of the world. I feel like a ship on the ocean: perhaps tossed about, but always afloat. And always enjoying the wind, the waves, the horizon, the salty sea air, the cry of the seagulls...

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The Other Art

I'm not sure we appreciate photography as much as we do other art forms. Part of this comes from the reality that surrounds and permeates a photograph - it's very, very real, and the photographer strives for clarity and crispness in the representations. Perhaps this is why black and white images continue to be relevant - they strip away extraneous information (color) and leave us with something that is at once familiar and also non-existent - for nothing exists in black and white. Nothing. I also think that pictures are becoming too common-place... Everyone has a camera in their pocket, and while that's a very democratic thing (everyone can express themselves in a picture easily and readily, and can find an audience for these images, which are casually taken and casually viewed, and perhaps just as casually forgotten) I think that we embrace that casual attitude, and it spills over to all aspects of the media, making it impotent. So I read this article this morning: h...

Lucky!

So Tomorrow is Amie's birthday. The 12 th is Andy's. The 14 th is Alex's. And the 26 th is mom's. Happy birthday everyone. I recently found that a member of our ward has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Pancreatic cancer has a survivability rate of less than 5% and you never, ever kick it, even if you live. Once diagnosed, people are expected to live about six months. My wife and I were talking about this wonderful woman. There are very few (too few) people in this world who shine. Literally. This sister shines with a light that is perceptible and discernible . The world will literally be a darker place without her in it. Life is short, folks. Too short for hard feelings, too short for pain and misunderstanding. I love you all so much. Sorry this one is such a downer... I don't mean to be lugubrious on your birthdays... I consider myself lucky to be your brother. You have and continue to bless me and my family in many ways, for which I will be eternally gra...

Excommunication

My heart is heavy this morning. I read that Kate Kelly and others are being brought up on Church disciplinary action. For those who are unfamiliar with the process/proceedings of LDS Church discipline, it can be a bit mystifying. There are several levels of censure that the Church may impose. These range from a simple removal of some privileges for a short period of time to the most severe action - excommunication. When one is excommunicated, the person's membership in the Church is terminated. It is a very extreme measure, and for the faithful it can be a very difficult thing to consider. What people don't understand - what is nearly impossible for someone outside the proceedings to understand - is the amount of love felt. It's discipline. It's intended to be harsh (at times). And it's intended to be unpleasant. But it is done with love and care for the person. Since excommunication is such an extreme measure, it is really only very rarely applied. There are ...