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Independence

A little bit personal, if you don't mind.

If you do, I suppose you can always surf on over to something more interesting... Or mundane... or with better/funnier content. I am not going to apologize for who/what I am.

And that's really the thrust of this post.

Life is interesting. We are influenced by genetics. We are influenced by environment. We are at once masters of our own destiny, but we are also subject to whims and changes and input that is not of our choosing or a result of our action. Some things really are just random. Not all - not even most. But some things are just random...

What is NOT random is how I react to the various input. Regardless of what happens to me, regardless of whether it comes as a consequence of my own indiscretion or whether it is just as random as a leaf falling to the ground in a large forest, how I react to that is up to me. It may seem trite, but I find the thought very empowering.

To illustrate the idea, imagine you are walking through a snowy wooded area. There are open meadows nearby, but you've chosen to walk in the wooded area because you know that the going is easier and quicker. The trees gather much of the snow that could have fallen on the trail and leave the space where you're walking relatively clear. Walking in the meadow, you'd have had to walk through deep drifts and the journey would have been much more difficult.

But as you're walking, a large glop of heavy, wet snow suddenly falls from one of the pine boughs above you. It lands directly on you, covering you with snow and slush and finds its way in between your scarf and parka down into your neck. Short of stripping off all of your clothing to remove all of the cold wetness, you're going to experience cold trickles down your back for the next little while. If you've never experienced this, trust me - it's not very pleasant.

Did your walking cause this to happen? Did a random wind gust grab the bough at the worst possible moment? Is there a squirrel who wants revenge for all of the terrors his rodent kind have endured? Did the tree exhibit some kind of malicious intent, shaking itself at the exact wrong time?

Is there any way to know? Really?

You could have stayed home. You could have been warm and comfortable with a mug of hot chocolate. You could have walked through the meadow. You could be on a snowmobile...

But then you would have missed the sublime tranquility and peace that comes from being alone in a wintry forest. Which is why you came in the first place. For those who've never experienced this part of winter, trust me - it's truly amazing. There's something that's clean and pure and cleansing and wonderful about being in the woods in the winter. It is stark and cold, but it is tranquil and sublime.

So what? What do you do? Do you abandon your walk and go home? Do you scream and cuss and curse the random reverses of life? Do you wish to curse God and die?

Or do you laugh at the randomness of it all? Do you accept the cold trickles down your back as part of the experience? And, while not necessarily enjoying it, do you embrace the idea that you're alive - alive enough to experience the wonder of feeling that coldness at all?

Many of us live as though we are in a constant state of anticipation - waiting for whatever is coming next. I feel that these people are not truly alive - they constantly wait for the next thing to come along, missing the things that are already at the doors. Conversely, there are those who only live in the past, holding on to past acclaim and glories won. This ought not to be.

I want to live my life as though each moment is a miracle. For miracle it is, if I have eyes to see and a heart to feel. What a joy, what a thrill just to be alive! Each breath I take brings life-giving oxygen to my body. Each beat of my heart pushes the necessary nutrients around my body. Each turn of my head brings a new vista, one that has never been before and one that will never be again. Even pains my body must endure are just further signs that I am alive! And when the time comes that I breathe my last, that my heart ceases to function, and the fire in my eyes is extinguished, I hope and pray that by that time I have learned enough from life to feel that life ebbing from me. Because that will be a singular experience. You only die once, in all of eternity...

I am not anxious to die. I want to live to be 150, at least. My hope is simply that I live each and every moment of my life - from right now to the very last moment of my earthly existence - as though it WERE the last, sucking the marrow out of the moment, leaving nothing behind. Especially regrets.

In this way, I feel liberated from the reverses and troubles of the world. I feel like a ship on the ocean: perhaps tossed about, but always afloat. And always enjoying the wind, the waves, the horizon, the salty sea air, the cry of the seagulls...

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