Dreams...

I really like the band REM.

One of my favorite songs by them is "Losing My Religion". Here's a link to the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=if-UzXIQ5vw

The haunting line that ends this song is, "That was just a dream, just a dream, just a dream... dream...."

I am also (continuing) reading the Brothers Karamazov, wherein the youngest son (Alyosha) experiences the kind of religious crisis that the song indicates. I'm aware that this is kind of a double meaning, where "losing one's religion" is a kind of euphemism for becoming uncouth or angered. But this song has a particularly interest for me in the context of someone experiencing an emotional upheaval.

Many things can bring us to this stage. For some (including Alyosha), the death of a loved one brings it on. For others, it may be failing health. Others may be affected by crime or other tragedy in the world. Regardless of how it comes, or what triggers it, it represents a real crisis in one's life. Losing one's faith, or coming to question that which is seemingly inviolate and unquestionable, can be as devastating as the losses previously mentioned, and just as real. Often these periods are associated with grief, confusion, fear, anger, and frustration. A person may feel alone - isolated and despondent. They may ultimately abandon everything that they once held as true, believing it all to be based on a sandy foundation - if any foundation at all.

I do not wish to make light of such things. Having experienced such a crisis myself, I know how very real and very destructive these kinds of things can be.

But having seen people go through this, I have come to notice that there are two very different outcomes: one leads to greater faith, while the other leads to despair. Despair comes through doubt (if I have been misled or deceived about something, how can I possibly believe ANYTHING?). Greater faith, however, seems to come from a position of humility (I did not have all of the information then that I have now, and I'm sure there's additional information to be had if I am patient and study).

The easy road is to despair. It doesn't take anything to wallow in self-doubt and fear. It is unpleasant, but it is easy - all it takes to despair is for a person to do nothing. Interestingly, skeptical people often take pride in their doubting, viewing themselves as coming from a position of strength and greater intellect. "I am questioning because I can," they may feel. "And I am grateful I'm not being misled by others. I'm smart enough to see through the lies. I want real evidence before I'll believe anything ever again." Skepticism does not give warmth or joy - only analysis and calculation. And even results arrived at by means of skepticism are always open for further doubt, casting everything learned or every fact gleaned into a constant shifting state of inconsistency. Everything becomes REM's dream...

The difficult road is to work to find real, meaningful answers to these questions. Truth may be known, and truth, once known, is what makes people free. If one can put a place for that concept in the heart (not the mind) then that concept - truth may be known - can sprout into a tree that bears fruit. This tree, however, takes time, nourishment, and care. I have known people who had something growing in this manner, but through neglect or carelessness have found the tree withered and dead under the blasts of adversarial winds. Without proper water and nourishment any tree becomes desiccated, diseased, and dies.

So what do we do to care for these trees?

Alma chapter 32 mentions what it takes - nurture with the good word of God. We must study His word, both in the Scriptures and also from the mouths of His living oracles. With this care (and it seems just a little thing - and perhaps it is!) we can find our trees of faith developing into immense, fruit-bearing trees. This fruit will not only (in return) bring us joy and satisfaction, it will produce seeds we can then share with others.

Ultimately, though, it seems a personal choice. No one should ever disparage another because of a choice made. Because negative or poor choices come with their own consequences which are not good. This seems punishment enough - we have no need to heap further punishment on such an individual. Rather, we should reach out in love and concern. We should bring light to those that have none. And we should seek to share in the burdens they are carrying...