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On June 21 my divorce from Youngshin was finalized.

I know that in the past I had written several times about how I felt about her. I came to understand, though, that no matter how much you love someone, there are some things that cannot be endured. And for me, 22 years was as much as I could handle. So, I don't want to poor mouth Youngshin - she is a fine person and I hold nothing but respect and admiration for her and what she's done with her life. I am grateful for her and what she did for me and for all that she gave me.

Not long after that, I started dating Diana Elizabeth Smith. We were married on September 16, 2018, which is a date that has been important for her for a longtime. I have not known such happiness, nor known that I was able to feel this way. I am so very much in love - it's kind of silly....

In all of this I feel the hand of the Lord. Last October (October 2017), when I first started talking to my former bishop about how I felt and how things were going, I asked for a blessing of strength. He blessed me with courage to do the things I needed to do. I am grateful for that blessing - it set in motion a series of events that have changed my life. In fact, I have always felt the hand of the Lord in my life, leading and protecting and gently helping me. It's something that I cannot deny.

I have made mistakes, and I have hurt people that I care about very deeply. For that, I am sorry. I have disappointed people and have not lived as I should in many instances. I have no excuse except to say that I am still learning, still growing, and still reliant on the grace of God to carry me through each day. My imperfections are mine, and I feel to cry out (like Nephi) that I am a wretched man, set about with troubles and pains and sins that easily beset me. But I know in whom I have trusted, and I believe in an atonement and a fresh start for each of us, each day and each time we repent and say - I will do better.

I am trying. I am doing the best I can. And I am sorry for the disappointment and pain I have caused.

I am grateful to you, dear reader, for following me through some dark chapters of my life. My life has always been buoyed by the constant love and support. I've found I have less need to post now, as I have a companion who is genuinely interested in hearing what I have to say. So my posts will be more sporadic - please take this as a sign of my satisfaction with my life and my companionship with my wife, rather than any kind of disregard for you. You know I love you with all the warmth of my heart (which is considerable).

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