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On being a male feminist

Or, why should it matter that I'm a dude who thinks women deserve better treatment?

Interesting, isn't it?

I was talking about this with my daughter. She's becoming a very delightful young lady, and I'm consistently impressed with her. I said that men who disregard women are figuratively cutting off one of their arms. Sure, you can still do stuff, but how much more effective are we when everything can work together...

However, as I think about it, it's much bigger than an arm.

Men who disregard women are cutting off half of their body, half of their heart, and more than half of their soul.

Bear with me on this one.

People, when they're sick physically, like to describe their ailments in various scales - pain on a scale of one to ten, or a certain percentage of feeling back in good health (I was sick a couple of weeks ago, but now I'm feeling about 95%)...

But the maximum any one gender can be in society is 50%. That's the maximum. Women and men need each other, in the way that each society needs its different and various constituent cultures to help create and foster diversity and life-sustaining complexity. We need (!) the glorious differences that refine us as a society, and gender is essential to that.

Because women and men do see things differently. And this is a GOOD THING. We need each other. We make each other whole. At least, we're supposed to. This works on interpersonal levels as well as on a societal level.

So, in being a feminist, I'm really promoting the betterment and enhancement of society, of which I am a member and therefore have a vested global and personal interest. I also happen to think that women are generally treated very poorly when it comes to many things (health care, democratic participation, salary gap, etc) and I can think of no logical reason why this would be the case.

Clearly, there are differences between men and women, differences which can be used to bring us together in greater strength and unity, rather than as a means to keep someone down. I dream of a world where people are given opportunities and challenges based on their merit, not on their chromosomes (which, let's be honest, none of us had any choice in anyway).

And then, only then, can we really be whole - a perfect 10, 100%.

Comments

lillysmum said…
This is great. I love it. The reason? It isn't really logical, but more emotional. Power. Selfishness. Women are infinitely more powerful than many men (and women) care to admit. Allowing them that power means a certain diminishment in the perceived power of men. Try reading an MRA website. No, don't. It will make you despair of western humanity. Because of our social/cultural history, it takes a certain level of strength and SELF belief to understand that granting women the power and equality due them only enhances the power of men. I love how you are raising your children. You're a good man.
Bill Cobabe said…
You're very kind.

I'm just doing my best, and hope it's good enough.

And it's true - sharing power actually improves one's own personal strength, and doesn't diminish it at all. It takes a much more powerful person to be able to say that meekness and acknowledgement of others' innate abilities/talents (which may surpass one's own) is a much more desirable attribute than being a powerhead. Very, very rare to find such a person, I've found. Something about it being the nature and disposition of almost all men (from D&C 121)...

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