So, I read this:
http://www.mormoniconoclast.com/a-response-to-ralph-hancock/
He links to the original Ralph Hancock op-ed piece here:
http://www.deseretnews.com/article/865628473/Reason-dignity-and-the-Supreme-Court.html
I'm not proposing to debate the point. I think it's really rather a silly thing to argue about, honestly. And here's why:
A marriage is ultimately about a relationship between two people. And, if they're so inclined, their God. That's it. It is therefore an issue that deals with things that defy logic, as do all relationships. Sure, there's a logical component, but it's a complex, messy, and difficult thing sharing your life and love and passions with another.
I recently had a discussion regarding the idea that marriage is under attack. It's sensationalism at its best - people like to feel like they're part of a Cause - particularly when viewed in terms of a militaristic campaign. It's symbolism we can all understand, and the metaphors readily adapt themselves, instilling fear and distrust as well as a sense of common purpose.
The problem I see is two-fold. First, it is not actually same-sex couples that are attacking families. There's no question that there is a significant decay in the nuclear family. Divorce rates, absentee fathers, and the resulting impacts on children, are indicators of this decay. But setting up same-sex couples as the enemy (as the attack on families would have us understand) is disingenuous at best. There are an incredibly tiny amount of same-sex couples in our country - a minuscule fraction of one percent. Thus, we should look to solve the real problems that face families, rather than the straw-man of committed same-sex couples. I wish that we spent our time and energy addressing these issues rather than worrying about what two committed people are doing.
And that's really the biggest issue I have with this kind of rhetoric - it makes people "the enemy." It's polarizing and dehumanizing, turning same-sex couples into demons, rather than brothers and sisters who deserve respect, dignity, and love - which, after all, are the most Christian of values. It's fascinating to me to watch the conservative, supposedly Christian folks espouse this militaristic viewpoint, holding on to fear and anger and hatred in the name of fighting the good fight.
Why do we have to fight at all?
I think it's because people are afraid. They're afraid of people being different. They're afraid of being wrong. And they're afraid that they'll have to change their line of thinking to one of understanding and love, which is very uncomfortable when you've thought a certain way or believed a certain line of thinking for so long.
But, if I can change, you can, too.
I've written about someone I love who is very close to me who has found the person with whom this person would like to spend the rest of this person's life with. I do not understand the reasons why - it's irrelevant. My task is not to understand why this person does or lives the way this person chooses. My task is to love. Because perfect love does indeed cast out all fear. Shucks, with whom did the Savior spend His time whilst on the earth? And, why? You know what - why not? Why not spend time with the people who need a Christian influence? We are all brothers and sisters, fellow travelers on this lonely blue marble, and if someone has found someone else who is willing to put up with all of the vagaries and difficulties of being in any kind of committed relationship, I think we should celebrate that rather than force them to adhere to a dogmatic and narrow view of what a marriage should be.
At the end of the day, I finish as I started - that a marriage is a relationship between two people (and perhaps God). Which means that other's marriages don't affect mine (there's only one divorce statistic that affects my marriage) whether they're same-sex or opposite-sex. How other people define "marriage" is only relevant to me if I allow it to bother me. I don't.
http://www.mormoniconoclast.com/a-response-to-ralph-hancock/
He links to the original Ralph Hancock op-ed piece here:
http://www.deseretnews.com/article/865628473/Reason-dignity-and-the-Supreme-Court.html
I'm not proposing to debate the point. I think it's really rather a silly thing to argue about, honestly. And here's why:
A marriage is ultimately about a relationship between two people. And, if they're so inclined, their God. That's it. It is therefore an issue that deals with things that defy logic, as do all relationships. Sure, there's a logical component, but it's a complex, messy, and difficult thing sharing your life and love and passions with another.
I recently had a discussion regarding the idea that marriage is under attack. It's sensationalism at its best - people like to feel like they're part of a Cause - particularly when viewed in terms of a militaristic campaign. It's symbolism we can all understand, and the metaphors readily adapt themselves, instilling fear and distrust as well as a sense of common purpose.
The problem I see is two-fold. First, it is not actually same-sex couples that are attacking families. There's no question that there is a significant decay in the nuclear family. Divorce rates, absentee fathers, and the resulting impacts on children, are indicators of this decay. But setting up same-sex couples as the enemy (as the attack on families would have us understand) is disingenuous at best. There are an incredibly tiny amount of same-sex couples in our country - a minuscule fraction of one percent. Thus, we should look to solve the real problems that face families, rather than the straw-man of committed same-sex couples. I wish that we spent our time and energy addressing these issues rather than worrying about what two committed people are doing.
And that's really the biggest issue I have with this kind of rhetoric - it makes people "the enemy." It's polarizing and dehumanizing, turning same-sex couples into demons, rather than brothers and sisters who deserve respect, dignity, and love - which, after all, are the most Christian of values. It's fascinating to me to watch the conservative, supposedly Christian folks espouse this militaristic viewpoint, holding on to fear and anger and hatred in the name of fighting the good fight.
Why do we have to fight at all?
I think it's because people are afraid. They're afraid of people being different. They're afraid of being wrong. And they're afraid that they'll have to change their line of thinking to one of understanding and love, which is very uncomfortable when you've thought a certain way or believed a certain line of thinking for so long.
But, if I can change, you can, too.
I've written about someone I love who is very close to me who has found the person with whom this person would like to spend the rest of this person's life with. I do not understand the reasons why - it's irrelevant. My task is not to understand why this person does or lives the way this person chooses. My task is to love. Because perfect love does indeed cast out all fear. Shucks, with whom did the Savior spend His time whilst on the earth? And, why? You know what - why not? Why not spend time with the people who need a Christian influence? We are all brothers and sisters, fellow travelers on this lonely blue marble, and if someone has found someone else who is willing to put up with all of the vagaries and difficulties of being in any kind of committed relationship, I think we should celebrate that rather than force them to adhere to a dogmatic and narrow view of what a marriage should be.
At the end of the day, I finish as I started - that a marriage is a relationship between two people (and perhaps God). Which means that other's marriages don't affect mine (there's only one divorce statistic that affects my marriage) whether they're same-sex or opposite-sex. How other people define "marriage" is only relevant to me if I allow it to bother me. I don't.
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