I know that emotional upheavals will come to us in our lives.
One of my ancestors, Alexander Neibaur, left his home in England to come to Nauvoo, Illinois in 1841. There he met Joseph Smith and became close to the prophet before his death. His wife Ellen was pregnant as they were forcibly expelled from their home. Ellen's baby was born in Winter Quarters and did not survive. He writes in his journal that he wants his posterity (which includes many, and of whom I am but one) to remember that day. What he wants us to remember is not written, but I have some ideas:
The bitterness of loss
The pain that life brings
The suffering that those of us who would be God's children must endure
The constant struggle against grief and agony
But above all, I would submit that the thing we must remember is that the last thing released from Pandora's box was hope. We have hope of a glorious resurrection. We have hope of an eternal family. We have hope that the little things we do now will be acceptable to the Eternal Father of our souls. We have hope that the prayers we utter when our hearts are rent with anguish are heard on high by Him who heard such cries from His Only Begotten Son. And we hope that He who hears our prayers will order things for the ultimate benefit of those who ask Him.
Thus, when Grandpa Neibaur carved out the grave for his tiny infant daughter, I don't think he wanted us to dwell on the injustices of the world. I don't think he wanted us to remember the pain. I think he wanted us to remember that we go through pain to learn patience, humility, and faith. I think he wanted us to remember that it is in the fires of affliction that our souls are purified and we become clean and worthy and powerful. And I think that it is the hope we have of an eternal glory and family that we find solace in times of trial. Life is NOT fair. I don't know why. I don't know why people have to suffer, particularly those who have done no wrong. But I know this - all things will work for our ultimate good. Each tear we shed is known of our Father on High, who knows our needs before we ask and delights to bless us if we ask.
Who would have ever thought that the Salt Lake Valley would look like it does today when Grandpa Neibaur arrived in 1848. They sacrificed much so that we could have the convenience and ease that we currently enjoy. Homes, farms, properties, even lives were not held above the great future they were building for us.
Are we going to be expected anything less? Will we rise to the level of perfection, worthy of admiration and veneration, if we are not prepared to suffer as they did?
Because it is in the struggling we do that we find ourselves. God knows who we are. We need to discover that for ourselves. I have hope that we will find ourselves strong, capable, and impressive.
I used to sing "Come, Come Ye Saints" to myself in boot camp when I felt alone. Somehow, I didn't feel so alone anymore.
Why should we think to earn a great reward
If we now shun the fight?
Gird up your loins, fresh courage take
Our God will NEVER us forsake
And soon we'll have this tale to tell
All is well, All is well.
It really is.
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